08/18/2009 LeGrand Bunker

So I woke up feeling amazing. There are just some days when you wake up with more joy than others. I should start to be more aware of these days instead of brushing them off. On the day of my first car accident I remember feeling this way, and being happier than I had been in a couple weeks.

So I get to work and at about 9am, I get a text from Josh, "My Grandpa died". This wasn't the best feeling or best way to start out the day, and I was actually a little shocked even though I know his health hadn't been doing well and he had been living with declining Alzheimers for the last year. We know it's his time, and now he can be free from his disease and live happy and healthy.

His Grandpa LeGrand has been in my life since we started dating, (7 Years ago) all of the family parties were at his house every summer and Christmas. I knew him well although he often called me Melissa. With 70+ kids, grand kids, & great grand kids, you can't expect him to remember everyones name I guess. It wasn't so much that I was upset that he had died, just because I've had grandparents pass away and I realize their lives just became so much better where they are.

It was the fact that I knew how much my husband hurt, and that he hasn't had many deaths to deal with in his life, that hurt me so much.

So when I was able to talk to him about it on the phone a couple of hours later, he said he was prompted and had the strongest feeling that he needed to go hunting. Most would think... Geez what a way to have an excuse to go hunting. But with my husband in tears I knew it was his Grandpa telling him he needed to get away. Josh and his Grandpa's relationship consisted of hunting skills, trophies, guns, bows, and trials bikes. Of course there was more to it than that, but all of the times Josh has ever talked about his Grandpa, it was about a specific hunting or trials trip.

With Josh having a shattered foot (another blog, another time) he can't make it up to "his mountain" to hunt where his family and his Grandpa normally hunt. So this year is definately trying for my husband. He can't ride his bike, or hunt where he loves and knows the mountain.

I wanted to share this because I wanted to make sure that everyone knows how important something is.

Not that this is going to make a difference for the initial shock that someone gets when these types of things happen, but I wanted to point out the extreme feeling of joy I had at the beginning of the day. I know now that I have these feelings for a reason. As they have happened on many occasions. They tell me that it's ok to be at peace, and preparing me for the "worst".

I just wanted everyone to know that every experience in our life is an experience that comes from joy. It's hard to think of every experience like this, but Josh and I are slowly taking a different look at life and the world around us. It's hard, sometimes you just want to be angry. But life isn't meant to be miserable.

So at the end of the day, Josh and I went home and talked a bit and had a happy the rest of the night, because we realized what a joy it is to have who we have in our lives and to have experienced those lives while they were here.

SOOOOO.... now that I had a big sappy second blog. I hope someone can take something away from it. I love talking about the learning experiences we have here on earth and as husband and wife!